A little about who I am and what I want...

I am not a quitter.  I am goal oriented.  I want to investigate untapped resources within myself.  I want to have a positive impact, however small, on something big.  These are the words I live by.  My hope is that a graduate program in health education will challenge me to live up to these words and offer the  tools necessary to influence change.  My goal is to take my experience as a dental hygienist and educator and combine it with these new skills to help the underserved  meet their oral health needs.


In Joseph Balog's article, The Meaning of Health, his reference to the Surgeon General's Report on mental health resonated most for me. The mental health of an individual, specifically their thoughts, are directly related to their physical health.  He tells us that neuroscience has shown that the mind and body are one, concluding that "health, at the "person" level is a physical state of successful performance of mental functions".  In an effort to apply the phenomenological approach,  I would like to share an experience which was brought to mind when I read this.

I have always been physically active.  I have been a runner my whole adult life, have always owned a bike and started swimming more regularly in the last 10 years when I started doing triathlons.
I have done countless 10km's half marathons and one full marathon.  When running became too 'mono' for me, I started triathlons, completing various distances,  the pinnacle being the Oliver 1/2 ironman  in 2011. After Oliver  I continued all three sports, but with less enthusiasm, though I did complete the Whistler Gran Fondo its first two years.  After the second Gran Fondo I began feeling unmotivated and, believing a goal would reinvigorate my passion, I signed up for  l'etape du tour 2012, a 139.5km stage of the tour de France. Needing to satisfy my desire to have meaning in my actions, I used this opportunity to raise funds for InspireHealth an integrative cancer agency that embodies the mind/body connection. This was a grueling race at many levels and I was unable to complete the event and came home defeated.  This is the only time I can remember not reaching a goal I had set for myself.   I slowly realized that it was not motivation I lacked - I was burnt out. I had done the training, but without the same commitment I had trained for other events.  This burnout became evident in my activities as I hung up my bike, and  hardly ran or swam for almost a year.    Up until the last two months every time I put on my running shoes, bike shoes or thought about going for a swim I started stressing out. I wanted to be active, but  instead of feeling the exhilaration I used to feel I would automatically think 'how far do I have to go?', 'is this a hill day?' 'what drills am I doing?'.  The sports that I used to love  had become a chore.   My thoughts prevented me from doing the things I use to love, and this trickled down to various aspects of my life.    It took me ten months to allow myself to just go for a swim/bike/run for the sheer fun of it. Recently I resurrected my mountain bike  and did a 5km ride with my 7 year old nephew, riddled with picnic stops and pee breaks. I honestly don't remember the last time I had that much fun on my bike.   The best part  was the fresh strawberries we were eating instead of some carbohydrate/protein  manufactured bar or gel.  Now that's healthy.   When I swim now I have no distance in mind.  No drills I HAVE to do.  My mind is at peace when I am in the water and I look forward to getting there. This is the best way I know to explain my view of the mind body connection.  Our thoughts have amazing powers over our actions.  We may have desire, we may have ability, but if our thoughts supersede these, we risk in-action.

I realize this is a small problem in the grand scheme of things.  I recognize that there are many who do not have the options I do.  To this end, several years ago I did a volunteer mission in Costa Rica providing dental services to the marginalized Nicaraguan population.  Unfortunately, after leaving I realized we had done a huge disservice to them.  There was no continuity of care nor was there anyone staying or coming in afterward to tend to post operative complications.  Worse than that, though,  we had not empowered them.  We had only perpetuated the belief that they could not take care of themselves, that help had to come to them from north america.   I want to be a part of changing that belief system.  I want to be a part of an education system that teaches local community members dental health while respecting their cultural and social needs.  I want the community to become self sufficient in this knowledge, encouraging independence.

For me, I feel most healthy when the mind body and spirit are receiving equal attention. My hope is that as I enter this next phase of my life, I will be able to achieve and maintain this balance.  I will nurture my brain with new ideas from both the  readings and what I learn from my fellow classmates.  I will aim to live up to the standards set by professors and other students.  I will try to inspire others in the class if I see they are tiring.  I will try to challenge them when I think they need it. I will try not to neglect my health - to eat the right foods and exercise regularly, even when things get hectic.  I will take everything I learn and apply it to both my  personal and professional life.  A daunting goal, and I keep my fingers crossed as I jump in with both feet.