Cowboys and Independence

I never thought I would sit and watch a horse training show for 3 hours.  Our class went to Chilliwack BC's Mane Event this weekend and it was more than I had expected.  We observed three trainers working with colts they had met just the day before. These are colts who had never been ridden and were being prepared as work horses of some sort. Herding cattle perhaps.  At times I couldn't help but root for the colts in the cowboys efforts to 'tame' them, while at other times I wanted them to trust their trainer more.  What was interesting too, was the wandering of my mind as I began thinking of how this exercise was so relative to different relationships in life. 

Drawing parallels to life by observing the horse training was easy at many levels. All relationships require respect, trust, space and nurturing.  It requires allowing the other independent thought.  A sense of control over their decision making.  The three trainers each had their own approach, but the one with the most success was the one that respected his colt the most.

The first trainer, Paul Clarkson, demonstrated patience with his colt in an effort to be successful in placing the bridle on her.  Recognizing that the colt 'wasn't ready', he backed off for a bit, to let her 'think about it' and then returned to try again, this time successfully.   As I was sitting on the bench, trying to stretch and massage my piriformis, the voice of my physiotherapist came to my head.  As she stretches me, she will often say those words.  "it's not ready", and will go back to another part of my body to release something else.  I know when she says 'it's', she really means 'me', and  I try to breath into it, encouraging it to release.  Usually, when she returns to try again, she is successful.  She knows that I am aware of the ability to 'breathe into' the muscles and so plants this ideas in my head.  The recognition of the 'others' needs and 'readiness' is critical in all relationships to ensure a trusting and respectful environment for growth.  I really appreciated his approach, and he was able to achieve some success due to his patience.

As we moved on to the second colt, I was not as enthralled with the trainer Kerry Kuhn. He mentioned that he had made the mistake the previous day of not giving the colt enough breaks to allow it to assimilate information.  That he was too eager to get the task done.  Today he was going to force himself to give the colt that space more.  Unfortunately he didn't always listen to his own advice. When the horse was bucking, trying to get  Kerry off, he should have stopped. I was rooting for the horse.   I wanted the colt to fight it.  Why was he insisting on trying to dominate the horse?   I could feel my body tensing up. GET RID OF HIM!  I was willing Kerry to either get bucked or to get off.  I did NOT want the colt to yield to his efforts to dominate him.   I don't understand why he would insist on this approach, but wonder if it was to the detriment of his success.

In stark contrast, the last cowboy, Cayley Wilson, wanted his colt to feel safe with him on his back.  He wanted him to know he was there. He would pull the colts head so he could be seen from the corner of the horses eye when he was riding him.  It was a trusting relationship that was occurring.  He, of all the trainers, was able to advance the most with his colt.  Without the advantage of seeing the previous days exercises I can only assume that this trusting relationship was established early on.  He gave lots of space and strokes of affection.  One could argue that he had an easier colt, but I would disagree.  Was this the colt or the trainer?  I believe it was the trainer.

I have used a similar philosophy with my cat, a rescue from a neglectful situation about 6 months ago.   I wanted her to feel safe, so I would softly hold her gaze and slowly blink.  With time, as she stared back, she would slowly return the blink.  This is a sign of trust, and the first time she did that I almost cried.  Other methods I employed  would be to avoid standing over her, and instead get down on the floor with her to pat her. I would ensure that she was fed at the same time every day and her litter box was always cleaned.  These small things  establish trust in animals. I employ similar methods in dentistry too.  If I am discussing treatment with a patient I will sit them up in the chair, maintaining an equal position. Laying back in the dental chair they are already in a vulnerable position, so any treatment or education may be perceived in a threatening or dominating way.
There is no question in my mind.  Animals are here as our teachers.